Joyce Kirby Parker

We are gathered for worship this morning to bear witness to our faith in the resurrection, the resurrection of all who are buried in Jesus Christ the Lord and the resurrection of Joyce Kirby Parker.  Joyce died suddenly but quietly at her home on Thursday evening.  She was 72.  Gib, David, Stephen and all in Joyce’s family:  our hearts are heavy with you this day.

            In the gospel of Luke we read that when Jesus visited his friends Mary and Martha, “Mary sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

            This little story is often told to illustrate that some Christians gravitate more towards active service while others are more devotionally inclined.  Joyce Kirby Parker was one of those few individuals who grasp the unity of Christian faith and the Christian life, the unity of prayer and service.  If Joyce had been born a Catholic, her name no doubt would have been “Mary Martha”.  But, being reared a Presbyterian, Joyce, rooted in the word JOY, the Christian’s response to God’s grace, was a better fit.

            Joyce Kirby was born and reared in Norfolk, the youngest of four children.  At an early age her family joined the Lafayette Presbyterian Church, which became the home base for the first half of her life.  At Lafayette Joyce sang in the choir, was active in the Women of the Church, and served as a youth group advisor.  She was also elected on of the first deacons in that congregation.

            Gib and Joyce started dating while Joyce was in high school and Gib was working.  That first date was the first of the extravagances Joyce received from Gib – they sat in his car and listened on the radio to a broadcast of Harry Truman’s inaugural ball.  But it must of have worked. Soon after graduating from Maury High School in 1951, Joyce and Gilbert Parker were married in the Lafayette Church.  Together they shared 54 years of marriage, with two sons and three granddaughters.  

            During their early years of marriage, Joyce worked, first for a local dentist, then for Tidewater Blue Cross/Blue Shield.  Joyce stayed home full time with the boys after their second son Stephen was born in 1962. In the 1980’s Joyce returned to work, first for Dr Bill Webb, and later for Trigon, from which she retired in 1995.

            Gib and Joyce stayed in the Tidewater area in the early years of their marriage, while Gib served in the Coast Guard, attended college, and entered government service.  They then lived briefly in Louisville, Kentucky briefly, before moving to Richmond in 1974.

            True to her embodiment of Mary and Martha, Joyce had two defining dimensions in her life:  her family and her faith. 

            Joyce held near and dear her strong family ties. Weekly gatherings were a tradition and it was rare for a Sunday evening to pass without a family dinner get together.  One of the few conflicts between her faith and her family occurred when Joyce was elected to the Session – which meets on Sunday nights! Family vacations were not only a priority, but almost a sacred time for family renewal.  The annual beach week with their family was a beloved tradition.  The 2005 edition was just a few weeks ago.

Joyce was pleasant, patient, and longsuffering.  She lived most of her adult life sandwiched between raising and caring for her sons, and caring for and attending to her mother and mother in law.  Her retirement years coincided with the arrival of the joys of being a grandmother.

Gib and Joyce enjoyed a most special relationship.  Counting the two years of their dating, they were together for 56 years.  Joyce was deeply committed to her husband, and out of that love and commitment flowed a most profound appreciation for the institution of marriage as a gift to be cultivated, cherished, and honored.  One of the highlights of her life was the 50^th anniversary party given by her sons in 2003.

The blood relationships of family ran deep for Joyce.  So did her relationships with her brothers and sisters in Christ in the Church.  Most of us here are sisters and brothers in Christ with Joyce Parker through the Bon Air Presbyterian Church, her home for the last 30 years.  Her spiritual roots ran deep and her faith in God was central in her life.  Joyce expressed her faith through the church in so very many and varied ways.  Perhaps her most significant ministry – but perhaps the least visible for most folks – was her 18 years of service as financial secretary of this congregation.  Week in and week out, Joyce posted our members’ contributions with accuracy and discretion.  Her work was foundational to the whole stewardship program of the church.  She rarely made a public presentation. But her numbers were always there.

Joyce was also active in Presbyterian Women.  She served a chef and team leader in the Chef’s Club dinner ministry.  Joyce was a founding member of the Memorial Garden Committee. Joyce helped develop the Memorial Garden as a ministry of caring and a witness to the resurrection.  She served grieving families with consideration and dignity, and offered a pastoral ministry with and beside her pastor.  Whenever there was a call for service in the internal ministry or the outreach mission of the church, Joyce was there.

Joyce was elected an elder in this church in 1999.  While on the Session, she chaired the Worship Division.  Joyce coordinated the elders in their service of Holy Communion, and helped launch our ministry of elder-led communion for the homebound.  More recently, Joyce served on the special interiors committee for the property division.

In the Presbyterian Church, the office of elder is one of leadership, ministry, and governance.  The elders serve in a complementary and equal role with the church’s pastors.  Elders are called to be the spiritual leaders of the congregation and the spiritual counselors of the church’s pastors.  In every respect, Joyce Parker was an elder of the church.

Joyce Parker was an anchor, a faithful wife, a loving mother, a gracious grandmother, a loyal friend, a committed Christian, a dedicated servant of the church, and a beloved gift to all who loved her.  Joyce Parker will be sorely missed by her biological family and her church family. 

Joyce is survived by her devoted husband, Gilbert Parker; and two loving sons and their wives, David and Lisa Parker, and Stephen and Kimberly Parker; three granddaughters, Katherine, Hope and Faith Parker; and a host of family and friends. Blessed are they who die in the Lord.

Having gathered for our mutual support and comfort, and to hear the witness of the Scriptures, let us worship God:

R. Charles Grant

Bon Air Presbyterian Church

July 18, 2005